As everyone know I am no stranger to an online dating app, I have suffered many jokes at the despair of my dating life. So why not share some of the worst as trust me I have had some bad frogs.
I think online dating is wonderful, at your fingertips from the comfort of my sofa with a bowl of pasta in my pyjama’s, I have a pool of men ready in waiting to speak too. Although I do agree there are its drawbacks sitting on a date with a guy who is distracted and you can tell he is waiting for a better lass to swipe right on the phone but to the contrary I am in the same position, many times I come home from a bad date and have another lined up ready for the next day. So here it goes…
A history lesson after dinner is not ok
The date was going well, wine flowed and I was even offered dinner (trust me a rarity in modern dating!) It was going well until the after dinner chat - he was big on history and I am polite and I listen. Until he mentions how he believed ‘Hitler was doing the right thing for humanity’ – and I can hear your gasps already! He went on and on and on naturally as a normal human being I object to every point he makes. After asking him to change the topic 3 times to which he refused I politely asked for the bill and upped and left!
The moment you wish you had done a Facebook stalk
He told me prior to dating he had a child I accepted this it is a manageable scenario, however I was slightly un prepared for what happened next. We opted for a pub date at a local wetherspoons – classy what can I say! Chat is flowing, I thought it was going ok, before a group of women approach the table and start yelling at me – needless to say the whole place went silent and spoons is a big place. I was being called a lot of brutal harsh names, turns out these women were friends of his wife. That’s right he was married. I was shocked and I have never drank a drink faster to be able to leg it and the cheek of it upon departing he asked to see me again! Instantly blocked.
Didn’t even last an hour…
The boring Nando’s date, this one is a keeper. I completely appreciate that some dates, some times require a bit more work than normal, some people get shy and I need to take the lead. This was one of them, which was of course fine. But however when you lead and you leave so many opportunities for someone to just ask “ and what about you” yet they don’t so you aimlessly end up talking about yourself. And then the cheek 40 minutes in for him to ask, so do “you want to come back to mine?” no hun no I don’t but you are welcome to walk me to my car.
So if you are a decent bloke reading this and you think you can do any better you can find me in the depths of Tinder alternatively let me know about your worst dates in the comments below!